This is for every girl who borrowed skin from women posed in a magazine. This is for every girl who wished for slimmer hips, thighs and perky breast. This is for every girl who got bruises instead of tattoos on her skin. This is for every girl with scars on their wrists instead of bracelets and watches that are made of silver and gold. This is for every girl who covers their faces with hair that smells like dry leaves and who never praises their naked body in front of the mirror. This is for every girl who believes that they are grotesque or even hideous. And also, this is for me.
You are beautiful.
I saw myself in front of the mirror once. And it never happened again. I was too afraid to see how unsightly I am again. Because for once, I saw the spine that got tainted with bruises, I saw my face slowly turning into grotesque to more grotesque than ever, I saw the craters that painted my face with hatred and sadness, I saw my chest filled up with withered flowers and dead leaves, I saw my heart; my tiny heart, withering at the sight of my eyes and at the reflection, I saw my lips and how it whispers things like my insides are filled with monsters, I saw my whole body slowly crumbling into pieces and it smelled like a graveyard of people like me.
This is for you, for us, who’s been afraid to stand in front of a mirror, again. Hold a mirror or stand in front of your closet’s mirror and watch your own reflection, once more. Uncover all the brand new secrets hidden beneath the layers of your tainted skin. See the changes you’ve made. See how you’ve grown and step outside your cocoon and be the butterfly that you’ve always wanted to be.
You are beautiful. We are beautiful.
When looking at the mirror, I can no longer see the hideous creature from my past. I can no longer see the reflection of the girl who wished for slimmer hips, thighs and perky breast. I can no longer see the girl who’s embarrassed with the scars she had acquired from the past bruises. I can no longer see the girl who slashes and cuts her wrist every time she wanted to back down. I can no longer see, the girl who hides her face beneath her hair just so no one could see how hollow and pale her face is.
Every time his eyes averts into my eyes, a smile would form into his lips and words of “i love you’s” would sprout. I feel beautiful because he makes me feel one. He showed me things I never quite believe back then, that I am capable of loving and that I am capable of being loved. On how he gently kissed every mole that’s visible on my face. How he caresses hundreds of tiny little scars on my spine. How he plastered different shades and added happiness and love on my canvass. I saw my heart, beating again, growing with his touch. I saw my whole body slowly healing from all the attacks that my demons have caused.
And when he tells me “you are beautiful”
I believed him, because I can feel I am.
I am, indeed, beautiful.
na mas may oras ka magpuyat kakalaro kaysa kausapin ako.
na hindi ka nauubusan ng pera panglaro, pero sakin wala.
na kaya mong dumayo kung saan saang malalayong lugar para maglaro, pero sa lugar ko nalalayuan ka.
Ayos lang :) naiintindihan ko naman. Pero sana, kapag nagsawa na ko umintidi at nasanay na sa paulit ulit na nangyayari, maintindihan mo rin.